Rural Life: I am suffering from a lingering cold. It is the fault of at least one skunk. But it turns out there were at least two of them. And together they made an amorous smell under the Garden Cottage sunroom. Many attempts to scared them out with loud rock music, or blocking holes failed. If you have ever lived with a skunk you will know why they are not a good thing to have around – especially if you have an inquisitive and stubborn dog. An attempt at live trapping the beast(s) made for well-fed beasts but empty traps. Therefore we called in the pest control – not a very well organized one. But they did have the magic trick – marshmallows! Yes skunks love marshmallows. They caught the critter, but were not wise enough to think to cover the trap. Skunks are docile in traps unless they can see you. So the pest control officer got sprayed and so did the wall of the house. But they took away the cute little thing and that cost us $160. The next day they returned to secure the premises with buried chicken wire… To our surprise, that cost us another $160! I think we were taken to the cleaners, only it did not get rid of the skink smell. The next day I discovered there was another hole. I covered it. It was uncovered and the hole got bigger. Not to be short another $320, I bought marshmallows myself and got out our own trap. One needs such a trap when living in the country. Being wise I set the trap away from the house and planted a trail of marshmallows right into the cage. The skunk loved the marshmallows but did not set off the trap, I presume because it merely reached through the wire for its after dinner treat. So I moved the trap back close to the house and too close to a stone wall for it to reach in from the sides. I then covered the trap with a blanket and re-planted the bait… Alas, the next early dawn, I snuck around and found the door closed. The captive was docile and heavy. I carried the covered cage carefully away from the house and out into the paddock. I had lain awake much of the night plotting my course of action… I would affixiate it! I moved the car into the paddock and found a very long eaves down spout that I attached to the tail pipe. I then placed the open end of the pipe into the cage under the cover and went somewhat guiltily in for breakfast. An hour latter I returned to find bemused contractors (who were working on barn renovations) scratching their heads and wondering what I was up to. I knocked the cage. Not a whimper. They were truly impressed. I then started to remove the sheet and what was presumed dead arose again! A truly Easter event. The sheet was hastily returned to its former place. There was but one thing to do. Letting it go within miles of the place was not an option. Skunks have incredible homing instincts. Living in the country with an old well, we have an abundance of rain barrels. I half emptied one and put it on a dolly and moved it to the paddock. The cage would fit in but the water was not deep enough. I repeated the action with a second barrel and had one of the contractors assist me with emptying its contents into the first barrel. A quick heave of the cage into the icy water did the trick almost instantaneously. The poor creature is buried on the fence line not too far from the rhubarb patch. In the process I got rather wet but amazingly, through all of this there was no further spraying. The contractors have proclaimed me the "Dunk the Skunk" king. The smell permeating the Garden Cottage is slowly dissipating. I am suffering with a cough and cold and a somewhat guilty conscience.