On Saturday evening my partner and I went off to a “Stag
& Doe” party at the local Legion. I had never been to one of these particular events.
It was delightful and was made all the more so because the bride and groom are
deaf as are so many of their young friends. There is such a joyful,
affectionate comradery amongst this group. I so wished I could have engaged
more with them other than by the nod of a head or a smile.
We have known the bride-to-be since she was born. Her immediate
family lives just across the field from us, and her extended family work the
farm a short hike down the road. The concept of a pre-marriage party for both
members of the couple is refreshing. The typical separate “Stag” and “Wedding
Shower” events have never appealed to me … the former often being an excuse for
a vulgar drunk and the latter being a women’s-only petty gossip session.
Stereotypical images I know.
At this event there were organized games, and draws, which
served the purpose of drawing people together. People of all ages engaged with
one another and mingled, even if their paths had never crossed before and might
never cross again. Laughter was in the air… a healthy, happy laughter and
competition too was rife, - a playful, spirited competition.
We were the only two from our village and rural community who
attended that had not been raised here or were not part of the host family. We
have only lived here for 23 years! But we have never considered ourselves
outsiders, and for the most part have never been considered as outsiders. We
strove early to become part of this amazing rural world.
Unfortunately, many city ex-pats do not immerse themselves in daily life here.
They view themselves as above the throng. They join a group of self-proclaimed
elite, a third rate aristocracy with showcase homes, extravagant parties and
mindless chatter of self-aggrandizement. It is regrettable because they miss so
much. Little do they know that they are often the subject of ridicule and
contempt. Their experience would be far richer if they doffed their urban airs
and let down their urbane hair.
