I was so disgusted at the lack of exercise I have had this winter due to snow, ice, frigid temperatures and a myriad other excuses, that when I saw that an elliptical trainer was on sale, I bought it. My partner and I had just brought it home in our trailer and, after carefully lifting the mighty beast down from its perch, we wheeled it to the only place we could easily bring it, - our studio office facing out a west window with a stunning view of the countryside. I knew it would be double the price in the fall when I will really need it. For all its marvels, there is a dirth of easily accessible gymnasia in rural Northumberland. I immediately programmed myself an exercise regimen to start off. It was for a thirty minute cycle .... After a labourious fifteen of them, with sweat pouring off me and heavy breathing heaving my chest, I decided it was enough for a first round. I had, after all - according to the screen - burned off 51 calories! So my partner, who was sitting in a distant corner at his computer paying bills, thought we should celebrate. We came across the courtyard and into the house to sit by the fire with a micro beer and potato chips!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I realize that there is something quite wrong with this scenario. But life is made rich by inconsistency. Oh well.